Stop Hoping.

Assalamualaikum wbt world.

It's like never leaves, he's always on your mind. You will be doing something and he'll just come to mind. You could be doing homework or listening to music and he just comes to your mind.

You'll start to remember the way it felt to be his. The way he would hold your hand. The way he would whisper "I Love You" and then kiss you. The way he would make you feel worth it.

But,

When you walk by him in the hallway it's like he is not even there. Then you remember he is not yours.

He doesn't want you anymore.

He doesn't LOVE you.

That is when he leaves your mind because you put up this front. You don't want to remember him. You shut it off and go back to what you're doing.

Someday it will be easier as for now, it is HARD.

One day, he'll remember all these things about you and wish he could have it back or you hope he will want you back.

STOP HOPING!!

It breaks you.

"You don't need him anymore" your friends say.

You believe them but then you remember how he was the only one there for you at one point and you're back where you started.

Remembering him and everything that come along with him and it is like a curse.

A curse that never breaks.

#cp

I am that girl,

-yean-

Publish!!

Kind Of Love.

Assalamualaikum wbt.

I want to be loved.

But,

I also really want to love someone.

I imagine that there is no greater feeling than knowing that there is someone who looks forward to you everyday.

I want to give someone that "We will survive together" kind of love.

That "I will make sure you smile despite life's horrible weather" kind of love.

That "I will never leave and I mean that" kind of love.

That "Forget your old relationship, I am here to reformat" kind of love.

I want to exchange hearts.

I want to kiss someone until we are both breathless.

I want to be someone's 4 am phone call when life makes them restless.

And love, has tendency to leave me perplexed.

Even now, it is hard to figure out what to write next.

But I know that i want to love someone.

I just hope that the one I love and the one that breaks my heart do not have the same address.

#cp

That Kind Of Girl,

-yean-

Publish!!

I fear for you.

Assalamualaikum wbt.

To the girl he's with now,

He will kiss you like springtime and you will feel like the sun chase away the winter of your bones. He will makes beds into castles and his couch into home. He will be a safe space, a deep sigh, a caffeine jolt. He will spread your clothes on the floor and spread butter on your toast. You will love him because refusing to it is impossible.

He will buy you the same gift he has given to the eighteen girls he's been with before us. He will take you to the same starry places he bring me and called me perfect. He will tell you the same secrets that he fed and lie to me. I got high on it, finally felt complete.

One day, the text stop. One day, he start standing you up. One day, he only call you when he is drunk. One day, you are crying while thinking because you don't know what you did wrong but he doesn't really love you but you will fucking die for him.

One day, you are alone at night. Waiting for him, even though you know he's out with someone else who actually make him whole and I know this because right now I am writing a letter in the dark space of our memories but too scared to leave yet.

And i just know, if he could ruin me, he could ruin you. You are gonna be his little toy because that's just what he made girls into and I fear for you.

#basedontruestory #cp

The Broken-hearted Girl,

-yean-

Publish!!

#17disembermenawankinabalu

Ini kisah tahun 2014. I should post this entry beberapa minggu yang lepas. I should proud of myself. Tidak terfikir pun saya mampu mendaki Gunung Kinabalu. Hakikatnya memang saya telah berazam sejak masuk Kolej lagi mahu naik Gunung Kinabalu lepas tamat 3 tahun study. Mungkin masa tue saya mengalami masa-masa kesusahan or the hardest part of my life as student. Di kolej saya diberi Lampiran A disebabkan masalah disiplin yang bagi saya remeh (freshie pula tue kann), and saya di sisih dan dipandang serong oleh sebilangan classmate saya yang suka sangat judge orang like they are angles. Our DAD pun pandang rendah and tidak ambik kesah pada saya but i supposed to say dengan semua kami yang "buat hal" kunun tue. Kami dicop as a pelajar bermasalah and tidak dipeduli. Well do we look like we care?? Okey kembali ke tajuk asal. Tyta told me pasal benda ney time saya tengah praktikal di penempatan terakhir Sem 6 di Emergency HQE II. Dengan besar hati saya terima walaupun ketika itu saya terfikir, "mampu ka jua ney??" Okey, sebenarnya malas sangat maw cerita dari A sampai Z. Saya just letak gambar and biar gambar yang berbicara. Hehe. Kalau korang nak tanya apa-apa sila lah tanya diruangan komen atau di shoutout yerr.

Tempat ney disyorkan oleh guide kami untuk bergambar. Sangat cantik. Dari kiri Sayful, Tyta, Zul, me, Yuyue and Arif. 

We just arrive at National Park from Arif's house at 7am something. Tak tengok jam sangat. Kita orang kumpul dekat rumah dya dalam jam 6am lebih kurang.

Selepas selesai segala urusan di headquaters, Kitaorang gerak ke Timpohon gate dalam jam 8am lebih. Unser ini di sewa seorang RM4.

Kitaorang start journey ney dalam jam 8.50am.

Dah mula dah, rasa sakit kaki tue. Hahaha but yes we support each other untuk sampai di Laban Rata. "Sikit lagi tue", "dekat suda", "bah tunggu dulu dorang, sama-sama kita sampai" etc. What a good team. I miss them already. Lepas 7 persinggahan finally we arrived at Laban Rata almost 1.30pm. All along the way, SubhanAllah. Pemandangan ciptaan Yang Maha Kuasa sangat-sangat lah cantik. Jadi insaf bila mengenang kelalaian diri.

When we arrive at Laban Rata. Allah jak tahu betapa bangganya diri bila sampai di tahap ini. Tidak sangka mampu sampai disini. 70% untuk sampai di puncak. Disini kita rehat, makan, tido sambil menunggu jam 2am. Kitaorang decide untuk start ke puncak dalam jam 2.30am.

Syukur dengan izin-Nya, selepas mengharungi kepayahan perjalanan yang mencabar keimanan, dengan tiupan angin yang amat sejuk, dengan semangat yang diberikan oleh teammate, Alhamdullillah kitaorang sampai di puncak sekitar jam 5 lebih kurang. Walaupun tidak dapat tengok sunrise sebab cuaca tidak mengizinkan tapi hati sangat-sangat la gembira. Sangat sukar untuk diungkapkan oleh kata-kata.

Thank you for your guide. Guide yang paling supporting and sangat gila. Tidak berhenti-henti kami ketawa sebab he is funny.

Kami selamat kembali ke Timpohon. 

It is time to go home. Happy recovery guys. Recovery la sangat. Gunung Kinabalu, untill we meet again. Someday. InsyaAllah.

Hamba Allah,

-yean-

Publishh!!!!

First Segmen: #TeamFollowBack & Blogwalking

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Tarikh tamat segmen 21 January 2015 .