My Little Muchkin ❤️

Assalamualaikum.

Finally, I got times to update this blog after all this time. Hehe.

This is AYANA SOFEA's day one of life. 

It started after my nurse yang jaga saya sementara masih berklinik di Ranau. They ask me to admit on 2nd of April. Then doktor yang jumpa saya d hospital tu refered me to Hospital Likas sebab kununnya sya primi and ada GDM on diet control. Masa tue penyesalan tak guna sebab niat di hati maw beranak di Ranau tak kesampaian the terpaksa pula beranak jauh d KK. Susahkan my mama and husband seja.

Bila sampai di Bilik Penilaian tue on 3rd of April, okay laaaaa. OS suda buka 3cm masa tue. Tapi still steady jak. Belum berapa sakit but ada suda contraction tapi tak kerap lagi. Then lepas tunggu 3jam baru dapat katil. Okay laa. Bilik dapat bertiga. Okay laaa. Dalam sehari tue menunggu la ney bukaan. Contraction dah semakin kerap, but still I can tahan laa. Mama dengan husband stay rumah kazen tapi husband menunggu dalam kereta jak. Ready kunun kalu malam tue maw delivered. Tapi tak jugaa! Saya masa tu tak boleh diam. Berjalan la ke depan ke belakang ukur wad tu. Tips dari ibu-ibu yang suda beranak. 🤣

On 4th day of April, mama dengan husband sempat la melawat walaupun banyak habiskan masa di luar wad daripada di dalam wad. Kesian juga biarkan dorang menunggu. Tengah hari tu start sudah contraction kerap tapi kuatkan hati juga untuk berjalan ukur wad supaya hilang sakit. Bila duduk jak sakit yang teramat so baik berjalan2. Jam 2 petang tue tak ble tahan suda, lima minit tue maw 3kali contraction. Bila tidak tahan suda tu sya tekan bell, and datang la staffnurse dengan houseman sorang. Dorang cek bukaan suda 8cm. 😱 Dengar jak 8cm terus nanggis. Baru terasa sakitnya tue. Lepas tue terkejar2 kena tolak masuk labour room jam 3 petang tu. 

Masuk labour room menunggu lagi sampai rasa macam maw membuang air besar. 6 jam menunggu tiada progress. Bukaan maintain 8cm tapi air ketuban sudah pecah jam 5 petang tu. Bacaan jantung baby still good tapi saya yang tak good. Macam cacing kepanasan di katil. Tak tahan suda. Husband di tepi bawa cerita pun saya tak mampu sudah layan. Specialist datang cek perut, dya kata baby tak besar ney, dalam 3.4kg jak ney. Dya kata lagi, maybe baby punya position yang senget or mendongak kot. Masa doktor tue cakap, sya mampu dengar jak, tak mampu maw beri reaction. Sebab pain score memang 10 da ney. 

Then they decided untuk push ke Operation Theater for Emergency Lower Segment Cesarian Section Secondary to Secondary Arrest. Masa tu dalam hati malar cakap "cepatlah, tak tahan suda ney". Tak sedar masa berlalu tup tup depan pintu OT suda. Bila suda baring atas meja bedah tu, curiousity makin bertambah. 3 kali jua cucuk epidural baru dapat. 

Tepat jam 9.25pm bersamaan 4th of April 2018, keluarlah Ayana Sofea Binti Azmin. First time dengar tangisannya tu saya pun keluar air mata tanda syukur everything goes well. Syukur Alhamdullillah. Nikmat Allah swt mana lagi yang kau dusta kan.

Ayana Sofea's latest picture.

To Ayana Sofea, semoga membesar jadi anak yang solehah, pemanis keluarga, berjaya dalam hidup dan berguna kepada masyarakat. Semoga sentiasa dalam lindungan Allah swt. Aamiin.

With love,

Yean.

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Parents To Be

Hey guyss. It is been a long time. 
Hampir dua tahun tidak update belog ini. 1 year and 7 months. Banyak benda jadi dalam kehidupan.
Alhamdullillah, life is good for now and it is getting better.  We have been pregnant for 35 weeks now. Alhamdullillah syukur. Saya harap ini akan mengeratkan lagi hubungan kami berdua, insyaAllah. Semoga semuanya di permudahkan oleh Nya.
Kepada sesiapa yang masih setia mengikut belog ini, terima kasih banyak banyak. Doakan perjuangan saya yang belum selesai ini. Hehehe. May Allah swt bless all us.
Much love,
yean.

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Different Path of People Life

Terbaca satu tazkirah yang sangat baik untuk dikongsikan kpd kita semua sbg tazkirah dan muhasabah diri...

Dalam dunia ni, semua benda bergerak dalam zon masa masing-masing.

Ada yang masih single.
Ada kahwin 20 ribu belanja, sebulan dah berpisah.
Ada yang dah kahwin 10 tahun tapi masih belum ada anak.
Ada yang baru kahwin bulan lepas, hari ni dah mengandung.

Ada yang grad umur 23 tapi terpaksa tunggu 5 tahun sebelum dapat kerja tetap.
Ada juga yang grad umur 29 tapi lepas grad terus dapat kerja jawatan tetap.

Ada yang muda lagi umur 25 jadi CEO tapi umur 50 dah meninggal.
Ada juga yang umur 50 baru jadi CEO dan hidup sampai umur 90.

Zon masa kita semua tak sama.
Jadi tak perlu merasa kita 'tertinggal' hanya bila nampak orang lain lebih berjaya.
Masa kita belum sampai.

Obama retired at 55, tapi Trump 'bermula' pada umur 70.
Hanya zon masa mereka saja yang berbeza.
Tapi sama-sama dapat jadi Presiden.

Ada yang dipanggil Datuk pada usia 47 tahun, dan ada yang dah ada cucu di umur yang sama.
Malah ada yang baru menimang cahaya mata pertama di umur yang sama.

Ada yang 'depan' dari kita.
Tapi ada juga yang 'belakang' kita.

Semua orang bergerak dalam laluan yang berbeza pada zon masa yang berlainan.

Allah ada perancangan berbeza untuk kita semua.

Jangan dengki, jangan sakit hati, jangan sedih.
Mereka bergerak dengan zon masa mereka dan kita pun ada zon masa sendiri.

You are not late.
You are not early.

You are just on time.

Jangan stress.

Percayalah bahawa perancangan Allah jauh lebih baik, rezeki kita telah dicatit olehNya.

Leave or stay.

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Again tonight crying like hell. Yesss. I am sick of this already. Should I just leave this man?

Ya Allah, ampuni aku ya Allah. What should I do now? I just can not explain this weird feeling. Saya tidak boleh begini terus. Otak saya tidak dapat berfikir dengan waras.

Fikiran saya tidak dapat kawal. Sakit bah. Sangat sakit. Kesunyian betul saya rasa. Even dya ada di sebelah saya. Tapi bagi saya dya yang dulu tidak sama sudah dengan yang sekarang.

Saya tidak tahu saya sayang dya ka lagi ney. Macam menyeksa diri sendiri pula kan. Ya Allah.

This bad girl.

Yean.

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That feeling.

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Hello kawan kawan.

I am watching him sleeping like a baby while typing this entry. So many thing comes up to my mind. The positive, the negative thing. I can not control everything.

It is been a month after that event happen in my life. Yes, I admit that I still can not move on. Of course it will take time. And I admit that I did not trust him anymore. I am sorry but you deserve this.

Banyak benda jadi sama saya selepas kejadian tue. Mood sya sekelip mata jak akan berubah. Saya jadi keras hati. Saya jadi selfish. Saya jadi murung and sometimes tidak mahu pun bercakap dengan orang lain. Cepat marah. And benda tue effect saya punya kerja setiap hari.

Whatever he does, where ever he goes, who ever called him, I admit I will be more curious. Sepa yang call tue? Dia pergi mana? Apa dia buat sekarang? Bila dia tanya jadual kerja saya. Macam macam saya fikir. Mesti dia mengatur something ney. Mesti begini. Mesti begitu. And worst Muka orang tue dengan dia dan orang yang seangkatan dengannya akan muncul. Sakit bah begini terus. Membayangkan benda yang belum tahu kesahihannya. Doubting your own husband. Sakit. Even I never say the word "I Love You" since then.

Tidak mustahil untuk dia ulang silap dia. But I also admit, saya takut untuk itu. But I also already have the strength to fight. Memang bodoh kan tapi I have learn from the first time. Cukup untuk peluang kedua. Tiada suda ketiga, keempat, kelima.

Saya hanya mampu berserah sama Allh swt. The best planner. I just follow apa seja yang suda DIA atur untuk saya.

The sad girl,

Yean.

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Betrayal and trust.

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Well hello people. Belum sebulan pun post saya yang lepas, sudah ada post baru. Saja maw luah perasaan di sini. Sebab saya tahu, tiada orang datang sini pun. Hahaha.

26th of May 2017. I will always remember this date. Why? Sebab hari ini merupakan hari dimana kehidupan saya teruji. Allah swt reveal the truth about my so called bestfriends and my love ones.

Saat saat kejadian tue, ya Allah, Tuhan saja yang tahu bertapa sakitnya itu menyeksakan jiwa raga saya. "Oh, begini rupanya sakit di khianati". Hinggakan airmata pun habis. Tiada suda yang maw keluar. Tidak mampu suda. Kering.

Ternyata hati bertambah kering. Lepas ini jangan cakap saya tiada hati atau kejam atau seangkatan dengannya. I treat people based on how they treat me.

I hate getting so sad to the point where my body completely shuts down, and all i can do is just lay there and think about all my problems.

That event make me realize that, no one can be trusted except your mother. Yes your mother. I finally realize siapa kawan sebenar, siapa dia yang sebenar. And it takes time untuk heal the scars and to trust again.

That second chance that i give him, saya pun tidak tahu kenapa. It feels like itu bukan saya. But what should i do then?

I just can go back to Allah swt and let him settle it down for me. I trust HIM for making me give him another chance.

That sad girl,

Yean.

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I am Married !!

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Its been a while. Lama tidak menulis. Sakit tangan. Sakit otak fikir apa yang maw ditulis.

Hari ney, almost two months bergelar 'PUAN'. Bila fikir balik, cepatnya masa berlalu. Sebelum ini, tidak pernah fikir pun akan berkahwin. Semuanya jadi macam speed boat. Laju and Alhamdullillah lancar.

It is a new phase in my life and maybe dia juga. Alhamdullillah, sekarang tidak rasa keseorangan suda. Sentiasa ada orang di sebelah. Even if saya cakap 'biasa sudahkan sendiri selalu' and he will go like 'itu dulu time bujang, sekarang sayang ada saya' and sentap saya sendiri.

Alhamdullillah, Allah swt bagi pinjam rasa bahagia itu kepada pendosa tegar macam saya. Rasa yang memang kepingin dari dulu. Oh begini pula rasanya. Insaf lah yean. Nikmat apa lagi yang kau dusta kan?

Macam biasa lah. Lepas kahwin of course orang akan tanya bila perut berisi, merancang keluarga ka or whatever and I goes like 'InsyaAllah ada rezeki Allah swt bagi saya terima'.

I think this is enough. It is 2 am in the morning. Insomnia sebab post night duty. Biasa untuk orang yang kerja shift macam kami. Ok sekian.

Married girl,

Yean.

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Officially engaged 😊

Assalamualaikum wbt. 

Its been couple of week (21/01/2017) already I have been engaged with him. Alhamdullillah. The event went smoothly.

Before its too late, I like to berterima kasih to both of my parents yang bersusah payah, bersakit kepala untuk pastikan semuanya berjalan lancar. I love both of you to the moon and back.

To my family, my cousins from both of my mom and dad side and my ipar ipar yang banyak membantu dalam melancarkan majlis. Kalau mahu list nama memang tidak dapat sebab ramai bah dorang

To my bestfriend yang sudi jadi MUA and photographer tidak berbayar, my beloved friends yang sudi datang dari jauh untuk support kami, love you all.

To my fiance and family, thank you for terima sayawhen I am far from perfect. Thank you very much, sanggup datang dari Semporna.

Banyak lagi gambar namun ini jak yang mampu. InsyaAllah Bigday bulan March di permudahkan. Aamiin.

Bride to be,

Yean.

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2016 I’m Ready To Let You Go

Assalamualaikum wbt

 

I’m ready.

I’m ready to let you go. I’m ready to say goodbye to my favorite parts of you, the special memories, the moments I wish I could rewind. I’m ready to let them go, I’m ready to loosen my grip and welcome new ones. I’m ready to let the moments I loved slip through my fingers and go make new ones.

I learned.

I learned the lessons you were trying to teach me. I learned from the pain, from the heartbreak, from the betrayal, from the tears, from the mistakes and from my own shortcomings. I learned the hard ones; you were hard on me sometimes but I’m thankful for the lessons because I hope I’m a little bit wiser, a little bit stronger and a lot more resilient because of them.

I forgive you.

I forgive you for putting me through hard times, I forgive you for not making the good times last longer, I forgive you for being stubborn, for not turning things exactly the way I want them to and I mostly forgive you for all the lonely nights. In a way, they made me fearless, in a way, they taught me how to enjoy my own company and in a way, they made me unafraid of loneliness.

I love you.

I love you for all the blessings you gave me, for the times I spent smiling, for the all the times I laughed with my friends and the times I stayed up talking to someone I love. I love you for the moments when you made me feel invincible and for the moments you made me feel alive and for the ones that will live me with me forever. I love you for being so memorable, so unforgettable and so breathtaking.

I’ll miss you.

It’s strange, because you weren’t perfect but you still had a special place in my heart. Something about you was pivotal, something about you was comforting, something about you felt safe, like coming home after a long time, like I’m finally on the right track, in the right direction. Unlike all other years, you left an impact, you felt right. 

2017 — I’m ready. 

I don’t know what to expect, I don’t know what you hold for me, I don’t know if you’ll be better or worse, but I know I’m ready for you. I know that I can handle the bad moments and embrace the great moments. I know that I’m open to learning and appreciating why things won’t turn out the way I wish they could. I’m ready because I’m letting go of the past and willing to start over with you. I’m ready to buy a new book with empty pages so we can write the story together. I’m ready for you to give me a wonderful story to write.

Take my hand and take your pen and let’s work together as a team, for the first time, I’m on your side and I’m willing to work with you.

2017, I haven’t met you yet but I’m already in love with you. 

💌 Rania Naim

Life Nowadays :)

Hello everyone
Tetiba feeling pula malam ney. Mahu melawat belog yang semakin kurang mendapat perhatian saya. Hahahaha. Tak disengajakan. Namun sekarang ney blog macam tidak kena pandang orang suda. Tapi saya masih setia dengan ney media sosial, biarpun hakikatnya tiada orang lawat pun. 
Well I have no story to share here but, yeah, I miss this blog. Hahaha. I share so many things here, walaupun banyak post sudah kena delete. Kalau di sini, saya boleh jadi sangat sentimental. I do not know why but it is the truth. Emosi sampai boleh nangis.
Every song playing at the playlist akan remind saya pasal certain event yang berlaku dalam hidup saya sepanjang 24 tahun ney. Btw genap sudah umur saya 24 tahun. Hahahaha. Cukup umur untuk kahwin sudah Orang cakap. Orang laaa yang cakap. Namun hakikatnya masih lagi perangai macam budak-budak. Tapi mature suda aaa. Hahaha. Matang la sangat. Malar merajuk. Malar swing mood. Tidak ketentuan hahaha. 
One more thing, genap juga sudah setahun hidup di Tawau ney. Walaupun malar pindah bilik. Mencari keselesaan hidup. But yeahh, I survived here. Tipulah kalau tidak pernah rasa kesunyian kan. Kadang-kadang rasa kesunyian yang melampau tue datang juga. Depend sama saya jua macam mana maw deal sama tue keadaan. Dengan rasa homesiknya lagi, stress kerja lagi, dtress dengan keadaan sekeliling lagi. Fuuuhhhhh! Betul2 menduga kesabaran iman. Kadang-kadang rasa tidak mahu pun keluar dari bilik, baring di katil sepanjang hari, Tidak mahu pun sentuh hp. Terpaksa pujuk diri sendiri, kasih yakin hati, ingat Allah, ingat family di Ranau. Sabar, sabar, sabar, dan terus bersabar. Itu jak mampu.
Pernah juga terlintas di fikiran mahu request pindah, namun rasanya masi awal untuk saya give up. Baru sikit bah cabaran hidup di sini ney. Banyak benda lagi maw belajar. Masih banyak benda saya perlu alami untuk ajar diri jadi matang di sini. Lagipun macam terbiasa sudah ney hidup jauh dari family, hidup berdikari sendiri, hidup susah sendiri. Jadi, Yean kasih kuat semangat!!
Bah cukuplah kan. Nanti saya lawat lagi. InsyaAllah, mungkin tahun depan kali, hahahaha.


The strong girl,

Yean.


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I am a backpacker newbie 2

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Hello.

Ini lah masalahnya kalau kerja shift. Bila balik dari kerja penat, then lupa update belog. Lagi lagi kalau overtime 🙄🙄 Allah swt jak la yang tahu keperitan mencari rezeki demi seauap nasi. Namun kita tak boleh mengeluh ✌🏽️✌🏽️

Okay, sampai jak hatyai jam 6++ pagi kita orang semua cari makan for sarapan pagi. Then meneruskan mission mission kaki kaki shopping untuk shopping dia sana. Kalau orang macam saya ney of course la cuci mata saja mampu. Sebabnya satu, saya terikat dengan budget yang saya telah tetapkan. Dua, memang tiada satu barang pun yang masuk dalam jiwa raga saya. 

Kemidian, teruskan perjalanan lagi untuk check in hotel. Dalam satu bilik ada 4 orang. Lepas check in, kita kena bawa pula pegi floating market. Boleh membeli belah and cari makan di sana. Ya of course saya lebih suka cari makan 😂😂

Lepas habis aktiviti di sana, kita balik hotel and acara bebas. Kita boleh pergi mana saja yang kita suka. Then saya dengan Yaya melunaskan niat untuk bermassage satu badan dengan harga Rm40 sahaja for almost 2 hours. Segar bugar badan jooo. Hahaha. Balik hotel jak terus pengsan atas katil. Sangat best 😂

 Then the next day sempat pegi jalan2 and pegi pasar berhampiran. Tepat jam 1 petang kita orang bergerak pulang KL. Sampai KL Sentral, kami tak sempat naik last komuter pegi KLIA 2. So terpaksa tido di sana. Bangun jam 3.30 am then tggu komuter first utk pegi KLIA2 jam 4++ sebab flight jam 6++. Panik juga namun syukur sempat sampai di airport walaupun penat. Da macam RunningMan pula rasanya 😂😂

Then terbang pegi Kota Bharu Kelantan..

Maybe, to be continue 😂

The penat girl,

Yean.

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Never Run Back To The Person Who Broke You

Don’t let it be in a moment of weakness when you’re feeling alone and just want someone familiar to comfort you. Don’t let it be when you’re drowning your sorrows in a bottle and you send a text message that your future self will hate you for. Don’t let it be because you think you can’t do better and they’re still close enough for you to reach, but far enough that they might still be able to get away.

Don’t run back to them because you’re lonely, or sad, or heartbroken because the person who broke you won’t be able to fix the broken pieces and glue your heart back together. After all, they were the ones who broke it in the first place.

If you go back you think it’ll be different this time. You think that they’ve changed, that things have changed, that you have grown as individuals and as people, but things won’t change.

There is still a good chance you’ll get hurt, again, because after all it is possible to have your heart broken more than once by the same person.

You might think they’re different, you might want to believe them when they say they’ve changed, but in all honesty they haven’t changed. Maybe in the beginning they can cover up who they are a little bit more. Maybe they can fool you that this time around things will be different, but people don’t really change.

In the beginning you’ll probably feel like you made the right choice because this time you can see they’re trying. You feel like things are going to be different because they care more about you and your relationship, but things will turn from blissful to an instant reminder of why things didn’t work out the first time, or the second time.

If you go back to them they’ll just think that whatever they do you will forgive them for and keep doing it without any concern to how their actions make you feel. They can apologize all they want for their actions and the way they made you feel, but they don’t actually mean it. Not when they continue to do the same thing over and over.

You are not weak for loving them and you are not weak for thinking that they might have changed because you honestly want the best for the people you love.

You want to believe that things will be better for them because you never want to see the person you love fail. But you can’t go down with them. You can’t be with someone who repeatedly drags you down and breaks your heart because of their own selfish ways. That isn’t healthy.

You just feel magic in the air around them, you feel like the world is more alive and you forget all your pain when you’re around them on a good day, but when it isn’t a good day it’s impossible to forget and you’ll torture yourself with self-hate for going back.

You know they aren’t good for you, but you can’t help it. You’re drawn to them and you can’t help but want them, even though you know how they aren’t good for you.

But you owe yourself more than that.

You owe yourself more than going back to the person who has hurt you time after time because as much as you want them to change, they won’t and you can’t help a person who doesn’t want to help themself.

I know it’s hard and I know you miss them, but you can’t go back to someone who doesn’t bring out the best in you. Being with someone who drags you down isn’t healthy and they will continue to hurt you, even if they promised they wouldn’t.

Know your worth and stand up for yourself.

I know it might be hard now, but I promise it will be better in the future and the pain you’re feeling inside will heal, it might take months or years, but eventually it will be okay.

You will grow on your own and work towards the person you want to be. Your happiness will be yours again and the best part is you will be the one who is creating it.

By Becca Martin 😘

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Yean.

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I am a backpacker Newbie.

Assalamualaikum.

Hai semua. Lama tak bersua. Lama tak berceloteh di sini. Rindu juga. Banyak benda maw share sini selalu namun tak mampu and tak tahu macam mana maw susun ayat. Hahaha.

Well, today maw kongsi cerita la. Memandangkan terbangun awal sebab tido awal kot semalam. Well the story started with Yaya, who asked me if I wanna join to go to Hatyai with the rombongan group LLBM. Approximately, with 80 person. Wow! It is a big group isn't it? So after a long time, i decided to join. Lagi pun trip pegi kashmir saya cancel due to some important matter that maybe happen next year. So we already booked flight TWU-KLIA2, KLIA2-KBR, KBR-KKIA, KKIA-TWU. It was a really really really long journey. 

So, first day of journey started at 11st August. We headed to Tawau Airport approximately at 2pm. Kami singgah makan di restoran Pak Ali then gerak ke airport. Jam 03:30pm fly to KLIA2. Sampai seja sana, terus gerak ke Batu Kentomen naik KL transit. It cost RM25 per head (lebih kurang la), if you buy ticket KLIA2 to Putrajaya/cyberjaya and another ticket from Putrajaya to KL sentral. Daripada beli KL Express yang cost RM 55 per head dari KLIA2 to KL Sentral.

Then sampai KL sentral Beli lagi another KTM ticket cost dalam lebih kurang RM3 per head utk pegi Batu Kentomen. Then we sleep over Yaya Aunt's house for one night. 

Then petang 12hb August tue, dalam jam 6.30pm kita orang gerak ke KL sentral. Awal sikit sebab kitaorang maw tukar duit MYR to Baht (100 baht = RM 11) lebih kurang. Then jam 8pm kita orang berkumpul la dengan geng2 LLBM. Selepas penat pusing2 KL Sentral tue akhirnya jumpa juga dengan kak Nita Sujak tue. Dalam jam 10pm juga kami bergerak ke hatyai.

Finish part 1.

Tired girl,

Yean.

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100th Days been together.

Assalamualaikum. 

Hello. Hello. Hello. 

Typing this while looking at him get ready for our dinner with his family. Yes. I was at his hometown here. Spending time together after been away for two weeks. Almost two weeks actually. Cuti raya saya dua belas hari.

This post actually celebrating our 100th days in relationship. Well, tipu la kalau xda ups and downs kan. Even try hard untuk tidak bergaduh pun tetap jua tue ego akan keluar 😂😂.

So, saya harap kamurang semua yang terbaca akan post ini (kalau ada laaa), i hope everyone will doakan yang terbaik untuk hubungan ini berakhir hingga ke jinjang pelamin dan ke Jannah. InsyaAllah. Bah yang mengenali diri ini, tunggu la kad kahwin yerr. Aamiin. 

The happy kiddo,

Yean.

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Dear Best Friend.

Assalamualaikum wbt. 

Dear Best Friend

 Do you remember those days when we became close? I bet you do. The days when I was a fallen feather and you were a hurling hurricane of greatness. When I was one slit away from ending it all and you refused to let go of my hands. When all I knew was sadness, but then you came along, and made me know you which was something more than mere happiness. 

 Dear Best Friend

 Maybe I've told you this before, maybe I haven't- But I need you to know how much you mean to my mind and soul. You lifted me enough for me to touch the stars and know that this world is not all tragic. You seemed to me, like an unbreakable universe ready to conquer hearts for life, and pardon me you still are the same person I knew, but I guess sometimes you need to fall down to rise even higher.

 Dear Best Friend

 I know they let you go and honestly, I fail to understand why. They lost a gem that could show them paths that they have never walked before and form smiles that have not been as genuine before. I know they let you go and shattered your heart but I swear I wont do the same. And although what they did angers me, I'm not here to hate them, I'm here to love you. 

 Dear Best Friend

 Im sorry for the times I hurt you and the times I misunderstood. I know I made mistakes and I cant promise that I wont make more, but I can promise to never make the mistake of letting you go. I want you to tell me if I ever strike your heart and ill tell you if you ever did at mine. I need you to trust me and I promise to never doubt your love again.

 Dear Best Friend

 I want you to know that ill be there for you through every storm of sadness and every whirl of delight. I will not only love you for your greatness, I will love you for you with all your flaws and edges. I will listen when you speak and I will listen when you have run out of words to utter. I will stand by you as you stood by me with stronger bones which you gave rise to and I promise I would do what is in my power to not let a single knife near your heart. 

Dear Best Friend

I need you to know that I love you and I will never stop. Maybe forever doesn't last forever, but mine will for a lifetime, hence I owe you my word and my life. 

 Dear Best Friend

 I'm here to stay.

#copyandpaste

The one and only, 

Yean.

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To The Person Who Stayed

Assalamualaikum wbt.

"Some may stay, some may go."

A wiseman once told me that.

But all through my life, I've met a lot of people who were temporary. 

We had become close and almost all of my friends told me like "we're inseparable". We have made a lot of amazing memories which I'll never forget for the rest of my life.

I understand that some people are not destined to stay with each other forever and it is normal for people to go their separate ways. Some people will stay and grow with us, but some people are meant to leave. 

But the wonderful thing 

that happened to me is that,

You never left. 

When I first saw you, I never thought I'd actually talk and have a great conversation with you and I had no idea  how much you'd do actually for me. I thought of you just another person who'll actually just gonna pass through, but I'm incredibly lucky that I had it wrong. 

You have been there for me, through my ups and downs, you've celebrated with me through the good times and mourn with me through the time of sorrows. You've seen me at my best and worst. I love that whenever we talk; I know that at the end of the line, you'll be cheering me up no matter what. You've been the cause of my mirthless since day one. 

The joy of having someone like you is indescribable, the thought makes me so happy, I'm so lucky that I was able to meet a person like you. 

And you know what's the best part of our friendship? Is that distance never really mattered and it never changed us. We're able to pick up right where we left off. It is so easy to lose connection with someone when there are miles standing between us, but that never happened to us. This just goes to shows that our friendship made us love each other even more and how much we've grown as a person. 

It's not easy for me to say how much you have changed me, because it is impossible to see where I would be right now without you. I can honestly and truly say that my life would never ever be the same without the person who loved me as I am, without you. 

I never thought I'll value a friendship this hard, until you came. 

I know that wherever life takes me or wherever life takes you, we will never cut off connections to each other. We've been through so much together, I'm confident that even the gods can't break us apart.

And I know at this point not even the gods can break us, I'm thankful that out of all the people who I have met, You're the person who stayed. 

I never knew how much you mean to me. I can't imagine my life without you. 

Thank you for being my person, but my person who stayed. 

–Bojie Galamay

#copyandpaste

The thankful girl,

Yean.

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This Guy is Mine ❤️

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Hello everyone. Post kali ini maw buat official announcement la kunun. Memandangkan hari ney birthday dya (09/06/2016), and esok (10/06/2016) is our monthsarry yang ke dua. I want to introduce to you all la kunun the love of my life.

Hohoho. My En. Kesayangan name is tuutt. He is from Semporna. Thats it. Hahaha. For the first time I saw him, ada getar dalam jiwa. Tapi masa tue xla layan sangat sebab masih protes lagi kan kenapa la perlu pindah Hospital Tawau ney.  Jauh dari keluarga, jiwa suda sebati dengan ED Likas. But what to do. Masa tue memang terpaksa positive kan diri. Berdoa semoga ada hikmah.

Kerja dengan dya di department yang sama. Mula-mula xda orang pun tegur.  Mungkin sebab sya jenis kalau orang xtegur xjua la sya tegur tue orang 😂😂 Lama2 bila selalu kerja dengan dya start la bercakap jua. And then pandai la dya buat lawak. Tue yang buat sya tertarik kali 😂😂. Mula2 takut maw bagi tahu. Last2 saya jua yang confess even takut kena reject. Yup, memang saya yang kejar dya. Hhahaha. 

Tapi syukur la, xjua kena reject mentah mentah, even dya take time maw buat keputusan. Sabar jak la sya. Alhamdullillah, Allah bersama orang yang sabar. And now 2 months already. Even saya kuat merajuk, banyak perangai buruk namun dya tetap sabar seja layan karenah saya yang minta puji ney. Hahaha. 

Okay lah, cukup dulu sampai sini. Doakan hubungan ini hingga ke level yang seterusnya (kahwin kot, memang dalam perancangan suda) dan hingga ke Jannah. Aamiin, InsyaAllah.

The happy Kiddo,

Yean.

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The Relationship Problem.

Every relationship gets boring and it will get boring after you've been together for years. It's always fun in the beginning. It's always exciting when you're getting to know each other. It's always thrilling to chase one another. Eventually, it gets hard. Eventually, it becomes difficult. Eventually, it drains you. That's when people tend to quit and go look for someone else because "the spark is gone" and they want to feel wanted and admired and loved again. But listen, that's not how it's supposed to be. No, that's not how it works. It doesn't have to be that way. Even when it does get boring, that's when you're supposed to remember why you're with that person in the first place and it's never too late to find that happiness that you both once found together because the truth is, it's always been there and it never left. Even when it feels like feelings are fading, that's when you're supposed to know how much this person means to you and what losing them would be like because being able to love someone even when they're being hard to love shows that your feelings never left. Even when it feels like you're done, that's when you're supposed to realize that no matter who you're with, it's always going to get "boring" so you might as well be with someone who's willing to love you 

unconditionally and never give up on you.

Copy and paste. #sharingthegoodvibes

Yean. 

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You Will Remember Her 😏

Assalamualaikum wbt.

One day, you’ll remember the girl who loved you so much that she forgot to love herself. You’ll remember her when you wake up, when you eat, when you’re about to sleep. She will be your greatest nightmare. You will be the one crying, and she will be the one happy with someone else.

One day, you’ll regret losing her. You lost the girl who did everything for you. You lost the girl who was always there for you when no one else is. You lost her because of your ego. You lost the girl who stayed by your side even if you threw harsh words to her. You lost the girl who tried to understand you when she needed you and you were not there.

One day, you’ll realize that she was the one for you. The girl who stood by your side even if you don’t appreciate her. The girl you chose to let go because you’re full of pride. One day, you’ll realize that the girl you screwed up and left for another girl, was the girl who kept on fighting and defending you when she hears gossips about you.

One day, you’ll see her happy and contented with the life she have when you left her. She will thank you for letting her go and for making her realize she is worth of something so much better, that there is someone out there who is willing to do everything for her. She will look into your eyes with no feelings for you at all.

One day, when you see her, you will feel like you’ve been stabbed in your heart a millions times for giving up on her. And when that day comes, no matter what you do, no matter what you say to her, it will not make sense because she was already done spending years of her life trying to make you love her as she loved you. But you didn’t.

The happy girl,

Yean.

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Ramadan Al-Mubarak

Assalamualaikum wbt. 

Ramadan kini menjelang lagi. Alhamdullillah, hari ini ramadan ke 2. 

Untuk tahun ini, saya menjalani ramadan di tempat orang. Jauh dari keluarga. Tahun ke dua saya berpuasa tanpa keluarga di sisi. Namun, alhamdullillah kali ini saya tidak sendirian. Terima kasih kepada En. Teddy Bear sebab sentiasa ada untuk elakkan saya rasa kesunyian. Even sebelum bulan ramadan tiba. Terima kasih sayang.

Iftar pertama bersama keluarga dya di Semporna. Syukur masih ada tempat saya menumpang kasih. Masih ada tempat saya berteduh walaupun jauh dari family. Semoga hubungan ini erat hingga ke akhir hayat. Aamiin.

Selamat menjalani ibadah puasa.

Yean.

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