That feeling.

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Hello kawan kawan.

I am watching him sleeping like a baby while typing this entry. So many thing comes up to my mind. The positive, the negative thing. I can not control everything.

It is been a month after that event happen in my life. Yes, I admit that I still can not move on. Of course it will take time. And I admit that I did not trust him anymore. I am sorry but you deserve this.

Banyak benda jadi sama saya selepas kejadian tue. Mood sya sekelip mata jak akan berubah. Saya jadi keras hati. Saya jadi selfish. Saya jadi murung and sometimes tidak mahu pun bercakap dengan orang lain. Cepat marah. And benda tue effect saya punya kerja setiap hari.

Whatever he does, where ever he goes, who ever called him, I admit I will be more curious. Sepa yang call tue? Dia pergi mana? Apa dia buat sekarang? Bila dia tanya jadual kerja saya. Macam macam saya fikir. Mesti dia mengatur something ney. Mesti begini. Mesti begitu. And worst Muka orang tue dengan dia dan orang yang seangkatan dengannya akan muncul. Sakit bah begini terus. Membayangkan benda yang belum tahu kesahihannya. Doubting your own husband. Sakit. Even I never say the word "I Love You" since then.

Tidak mustahil untuk dia ulang silap dia. But I also admit, saya takut untuk itu. But I also already have the strength to fight. Memang bodoh kan tapi I have learn from the first time. Cukup untuk peluang kedua. Tiada suda ketiga, keempat, kelima.

Saya hanya mampu berserah sama Allh swt. The best planner. I just follow apa seja yang suda DIA atur untuk saya.

The sad girl,

Yean.

Publish!