2016 I’m Ready To Let You Go

Assalamualaikum wbt

 

I’m ready.

I’m ready to let you go. I’m ready to say goodbye to my favorite parts of you, the special memories, the moments I wish I could rewind. I’m ready to let them go, I’m ready to loosen my grip and welcome new ones. I’m ready to let the moments I loved slip through my fingers and go make new ones.

I learned.

I learned the lessons you were trying to teach me. I learned from the pain, from the heartbreak, from the betrayal, from the tears, from the mistakes and from my own shortcomings. I learned the hard ones; you were hard on me sometimes but I’m thankful for the lessons because I hope I’m a little bit wiser, a little bit stronger and a lot more resilient because of them.

I forgive you.

I forgive you for putting me through hard times, I forgive you for not making the good times last longer, I forgive you for being stubborn, for not turning things exactly the way I want them to and I mostly forgive you for all the lonely nights. In a way, they made me fearless, in a way, they taught me how to enjoy my own company and in a way, they made me unafraid of loneliness.

I love you.

I love you for all the blessings you gave me, for the times I spent smiling, for the all the times I laughed with my friends and the times I stayed up talking to someone I love. I love you for the moments when you made me feel invincible and for the moments you made me feel alive and for the ones that will live me with me forever. I love you for being so memorable, so unforgettable and so breathtaking.

I’ll miss you.

It’s strange, because you weren’t perfect but you still had a special place in my heart. Something about you was pivotal, something about you was comforting, something about you felt safe, like coming home after a long time, like I’m finally on the right track, in the right direction. Unlike all other years, you left an impact, you felt right. 

2017 — I’m ready. 

I don’t know what to expect, I don’t know what you hold for me, I don’t know if you’ll be better or worse, but I know I’m ready for you. I know that I can handle the bad moments and embrace the great moments. I know that I’m open to learning and appreciating why things won’t turn out the way I wish they could. I’m ready because I’m letting go of the past and willing to start over with you. I’m ready to buy a new book with empty pages so we can write the story together. I’m ready for you to give me a wonderful story to write.

Take my hand and take your pen and let’s work together as a team, for the first time, I’m on your side and I’m willing to work with you.

2017, I haven’t met you yet but I’m already in love with you. 

💌 Rania Naim

Life Nowadays :)

Hello everyone
Tetiba feeling pula malam ney. Mahu melawat belog yang semakin kurang mendapat perhatian saya. Hahahaha. Tak disengajakan. Namun sekarang ney blog macam tidak kena pandang orang suda. Tapi saya masih setia dengan ney media sosial, biarpun hakikatnya tiada orang lawat pun. 
Well I have no story to share here but, yeah, I miss this blog. Hahaha. I share so many things here, walaupun banyak post sudah kena delete. Kalau di sini, saya boleh jadi sangat sentimental. I do not know why but it is the truth. Emosi sampai boleh nangis.
Every song playing at the playlist akan remind saya pasal certain event yang berlaku dalam hidup saya sepanjang 24 tahun ney. Btw genap sudah umur saya 24 tahun. Hahahaha. Cukup umur untuk kahwin sudah Orang cakap. Orang laaa yang cakap. Namun hakikatnya masih lagi perangai macam budak-budak. Tapi mature suda aaa. Hahaha. Matang la sangat. Malar merajuk. Malar swing mood. Tidak ketentuan hahaha. 
One more thing, genap juga sudah setahun hidup di Tawau ney. Walaupun malar pindah bilik. Mencari keselesaan hidup. But yeahh, I survived here. Tipulah kalau tidak pernah rasa kesunyian kan. Kadang-kadang rasa kesunyian yang melampau tue datang juga. Depend sama saya jua macam mana maw deal sama tue keadaan. Dengan rasa homesiknya lagi, stress kerja lagi, dtress dengan keadaan sekeliling lagi. Fuuuhhhhh! Betul2 menduga kesabaran iman. Kadang-kadang rasa tidak mahu pun keluar dari bilik, baring di katil sepanjang hari, Tidak mahu pun sentuh hp. Terpaksa pujuk diri sendiri, kasih yakin hati, ingat Allah, ingat family di Ranau. Sabar, sabar, sabar, dan terus bersabar. Itu jak mampu.
Pernah juga terlintas di fikiran mahu request pindah, namun rasanya masi awal untuk saya give up. Baru sikit bah cabaran hidup di sini ney. Banyak benda lagi maw belajar. Masih banyak benda saya perlu alami untuk ajar diri jadi matang di sini. Lagipun macam terbiasa sudah ney hidup jauh dari family, hidup berdikari sendiri, hidup susah sendiri. Jadi, Yean kasih kuat semangat!!
Bah cukuplah kan. Nanti saya lawat lagi. InsyaAllah, mungkin tahun depan kali, hahahaha.


The strong girl,

Yean.


Publish !!!